What drives me today

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There is so little time. Memories from when I were a kid can feel as vivid as if they happened yesterday.  And, yet, I sit here at 37 years old.  Those memories are decades old and all that time is gone, for better or worse.  Sometimes I still feel like a kid, like I never grew up or matured.  Knowing that 40 is right around the corner hits pretty hard when you still feel like you haven’t really lived in a meaningful way.

It’s easy to get into ‘survival mode.’

You do the things you’re supposed to do each day.  And those days zip by at a subtly ferocious speed and you barely notice.

The toughest part about this is that you don’t necessarily feel older as these days go by.  I feel as young as I did in my twenties, but hanging out with 20 somethings reminds me that, yes, I’m not as young as I feel.

I’ve had enough, though.  I refuse to let my life be permanently set on autopilot.  Each morning I get out of the shower and the morning light pouring in reveals the faint shimmer of my first gray hairs. It drives me now to be mindful of making the most of that day.

I know that when I am much older–God willing that I still have my memory–I will be able to look back on these days like I now look back on my childhood.  I want to be able to say that I lived a good, full life.  I want my family to be able to agree with that.

It all starts with a decision that you make today.  Make it with me.

  • Donna Marcum

    I applaud your decision to live as mindfully as possible. Living the “Ground Hog Day” life is, sadly, just too easy to fall in to.